Funerals

I am left wondering who they are for? I assume they are for the grieving families. As someone who has attended both her parent's funerals in the last 5 months I know that the funeral was that last exhausting thing I had to get through. There was nothing in those rituals that gave me solace. And I am all about the rituals.

Yes it was nice that so many people came, that they sent cards, that they said nice things about my parents. It was nice my parents were so well thought of.

Possibly if this was my small town that I lived in or if I really knew these people who came it may have brought comfort. But I felt more like a hostess at a party I didn't want to go to.

So now I will find photos of my parents the way I want to remember them, not in their last days. And I will find a candle and create a spot on the corner of my desk for them. And I will grieve them in my own introvert way.

Maybe this was the one last thing I was to do for them, I don't know.