Thank you, Scott Walker, for inspiring me to write this poem:
How The Govâ€™nor Stole Christmas by Carrie Scherpelz
Every Who Down in Who-ville Liked Christmas a lot...
But the Govâ€™nor, On high ruling Who-ville, Did NOT!
The Govâ€™nor hated those Whos! Their whole Christmas season! Now, please donâ€™t ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be that his head wasnâ€™t screwed on quite right. It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. But I think that the most likely reason of all May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
But, Whatever the reason, His heart or his shoes, He spent lots of time on despising the Whos, Ignoring all of their needs with a sour, Govâ€™nory frown From high in his office above, he looked down.
And THEN Theyâ€™d do something he liked least of all! Some Whos down in Who-ville, the tall and the small, Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing. Theyâ€™d stand side-by-side every noon and start singing!
Theyâ€™d sing! And theyâ€™d sing! AND theyâ€™d SING! SING! SING! SING! And the more the Guv thought of the Noon-Hour-Sing The more the Guv thought, â€œI must stop this whole thing! â€œWhy for three hundred days Iâ€™ve put up with it now! I MUST stop Whos from singing! ...But HOW?â€
Then he got an idea! An awful idea! THE Govâ€™nor GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
â€œI know just what to do!â€ The Guv said, laughing aloud. And he made a quick call to the DOA crowd. While he chuckled, and clucked, â€œWhat a great Govâ€™nory trick! â€œI can stop all this singing that makes me so sick!â€
â€œAll I need is a Song Law...â€ The Guv looked around For anti-song laws, but they could not be found. Did that stop the old Govâ€™nor...? No! The Guv simply said, â€œIf I canâ€™t find the right law, Iâ€™ll make one instead!â€ He called his attorneys who wrote twenty pages of rules And he smiled to himself â€˜cause now he had TOOLS!
THEN He notified the Press And shared the good news That the singers in Whoville Were soon going to lose . . .
The very last of their rights, Their Freedom of Speech! The very First Amendmentâ€” That one all teachers teach!
Heâ€™d already stolen, with a smile most unpleasant, Their Bargaining Rights and every last present! Their train! Public Transit! Recycling Aid! Money for schools! Progressive law! Medicaid! The Guv stole open meetings and then voting rights! He just Divided all Whoville, and betrayed all their trust!
The worst thing about itâ€”he made deals with the Kochs That made life much harder for ordinary folks. The Whosâ€™ hearts were broken and then he did this, â€œYou must pay for SINGING!â€ he said with a hiss.
The Whos down in Whoville didnâ€™t think that was funny. The one thing the Whos did NOT have was money.
â€œIf you donâ€™t pay, go to jail,â€ said the Guv grimly. But the Whos had lost jobs and lost wages, so dimly They peered at the Guv and said, â€œGovernor, why, â€œWhy are you taking our Singing now? WHY?â€
But, you know, that old Govâ€™nor was so smart and so slick He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick! â€œYou Whos cost too much and youâ€™ve caused too much damage.â€ â€œBy singing? What damage? Itâ€™s all we can manage To just make a living in Whoville down here.â€ The Govâ€™nor ignored them and turned a deaf ear.
â€œPooh-pooh to the Whos!â€ he was happily humming. â€œTheyâ€™re finding out now their comeuppance is coming! â€œTheyâ€™re just waking up! I know just what theyâ€™ll do! â€œTheir mouths will hang open a minute or two â€œThe all the Whos down in Who-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!â€
â€œThatâ€™s a noise,â€ grinned the Govâ€™nor, â€œThat I simply must hear!â€ So he paused. And the Govâ€™nor put a hand to his ear. And he did hear a sound he didnâ€™t quite know. It started in low. Then it started to grow...
The sound wasnâ€™t just Singing. Why, this sound was SINGING! It couldnâ€™t be so, But his ears were ringing.
He stared down at Who-ville! The Guv popped his eyes! Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small, Was singing! Not just a few Whos but ALL! He HADNâ€™T stopped Singers from coming! MORE CAME! Somehow or other, thousands came just the same!
And the Guv, with his Govâ€™nor-feet cold in the snow, Stood puzzling and puzzling: â€œHow could it be so? â€œI canâ€™t put them in jail! No room for them all! â€œThey stand hand in hand! Who can I call â€œTo drag them away, without looking small?â€ Then the Guv thought of something that started to gall. â€œMaybe my law,â€ he thought, â€œwas NOT smart to make. â€œMaybe (I hope!)...no one saw my mistake!â€
And what happened then...? Well...in Who-ville they say Did the Govâ€™norâ€™s small heart Grow three sizes that day? Did he admit his mistake, they all wonder, Or did he instead blame someone for his blunder?
NO MATTER . . .
The millions in Whoville kept singing together Solidarity songs, no matter the weather!
(Thanks for the photo of Solidarity Singers singing recall carols round the tree, WisLightkeeper!)